It is on night like this
where I find myself
utterly alone
longing for some means of aid
whether it’s warm arms
or warm words
I ask whatever creature
higher than me
for help,
but only get proof of loneliness
and lies with loneliness
and sadness suffocating
me slowly
until morning comes.

Fears fills my stomach
with tornados
and thunderstorms
as we get ready to take the plunge.
One
Two
Three
Go.
Down the slide into a surface
of adventure filled terror.
With a scream
all of the fear storms
exit my stomach
and fill my body with joy
and fun,
as I become a kid again
if for only seconds.

Sometimes the bloodiest
doesn’t hurt.
Sometimes the physically strongest
is mentally weakest.
Sometimes the most bruised
is the least hurt.
Sometimes the fattest
has the skinniest mindset
Sometimes the shyest
has the strongest personality.
Sometimes things aren’t
as they appear.
Sometimes, though
so be careful what you judge.

A burnt rose 

smells nothing of beauty, 

so why do we burn the beautiful people 

and expect them to 

still be beautiful? 

I once wrote a poem that made them all cry, 

and they praised it 

and passed it to all of their friend to read. 

By the time I got the paper back 

it was wrinkled with dried tear drops

torn with raw emotion 

and stained in blood. 

I gave it to my parents to read 

and they laughed 

just before they stained it with flames, 

and scented it with smoke, 

“You’re weak if you feel like that,

get over it.”

That day my skin became

wrinkled with dried tear drops, 

my heart was torn with raw emotion 

and my skin was stained with blood. 

Probably someday I will instead

be stained with flames 

and scented with smoke. 

Maybe someday I’ll feel 

like I’m special to someone, 

maybe I’ll even feel special.

I’ll be happy 

and maybe even be comfortable 

with myself. 

Maybe I will be able 

to actually talk about all of my feelings

maybe I’ll be able to 

cry in someone’s arms. 

I just keep wishing for that someday

when I can stop wishing 

and stop dreaming because 

I will have it. 

I will change someday.
I’ll get away
and become more like me
and less like him.
Maybe I’ll destroy this monster
that lurks inside of me
and I will have less dangers
of hurting the people I love
more than I already do.

Sending tingles down my arms 

and fire into my brain 

anger flourished dark red

ready to strike. 

And so it does. 

the hit stings my hand 

so it must really hurt him, 

A whimper escaped his canines

as he rolls on his back

showing that he’s the beta dog. 

Guess that makes me the “Alpha Dog”

the one ready to hurt the things she loves.

What if it strikes a family member,

a spouse,

a child,

what if I hurt someone else

just because I can’t control my anger.

Not everyone chooses to be a monster

some people just can’t control it.  

Sometimes if I don’t look at my body
I feel small,
without a stomach of large size
thighs like logs
arms like jello.
I sometimes feel perfect
then I lay my hand on my stomach
then I start feeling the extra mass
then I realize I was only feeling
a dream.

He ripped her flower out of the pot
faster than it could grow
and it shrivled in his hands
leaving not but damaged roots
and over-fertile soil.